Gone in 36000 seconds!

Want to know how to mess with the heads of an insurance company?

1. Wake up in the morning and discover that someone broke into your garage and stole your car while you slept. Wife discovers that purse and keys are missing which means she may have forgoten them in the car the night before.
2. Call police and report it stolen. Then go to work without calling SGI.
3. Have the police find the car at 4pm the next day, parked in an alley 16 blocks away with the doors locked and no visible damage.
4. Get police to tow it to salvage yard for fingerprinting.
5. Call SGI to explain that your undamaged car has been towed to their lot and that you need to file a claim.
6. Explain this again.
7. Explain this again.
8. Tell them you aren't kidding and that you can’t remember the name of the officer that called you.
9. Explain this again.
10. Now that it is after regular hours ask for the number of the security office so that you can arrange to get your kids car seats back. The call center employee now believes that you are planning to eat his liver and wear his skin as a coat. He gives you the number.
11. Talk to the nicest guard in the world who (loosely paraphrased) says: Come on down, I'll rustle up some grub and a couple of brewskis to entertain you while you are here.
12. Get stuff from your car while alone in the SGI garage because the guard figures you can be trusted. Nice man that guard, his skin would not make a good coat. Keys, purse and 12 CD’s appear to be all that is missing.
13. Listen to the guard’s hilarious story about the employees setting off the car's anti theft system while trying to unhook it from the tow truck. Give the guard your spare car key to ensure that they don’t actually break something on your unbroken car. The guard accepts this donation like a 6 year old boy getting a transformer for Christmas. Happiness abounds.
14. Call the hotline and explain that you looked at the car yourself and that there really is no damage to the car that they have in their garage.
15. Sigh and explain this again.